okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
