there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Randomize
