He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
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