best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
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