I need help removing her.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Randomize
