I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
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