My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
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