i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
I understand Curling. That high.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
