we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
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