You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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