just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
