no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Randomize
