yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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