You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Randomize
