i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize