It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
