Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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