the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
