:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Randomize
