Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
