nut hugger
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Randomize