pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
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