so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
