Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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