why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
