Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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