Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
