Is it because I queefed?
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize
