yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I got inside last night via doggy door
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
