I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
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