remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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