I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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