no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
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