Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
