i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
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