So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Randomize
