five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Randomize
