a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
