4 words: hood of his car
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
