last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
