saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
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