I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
