Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Randomize
