Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
