I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Randomize