I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
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