Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
