So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I could make wine with my vomit
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
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