It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
