This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
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