You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
