i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize