Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I feel like abortions should bother me more
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Randomize
