you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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