if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Randomize
