Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
