Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
