she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Randomize
