Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
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