I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize