It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
