Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
