my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
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