Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
