Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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