You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Randomize
