She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Randomize