I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
