we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Randomize
