Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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