Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
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