"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
