I got chris browned last night
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
